ive never had anything handed to me I learned to expect the unexpected
because of this im always one step ahead.
http://www.fraza.ua/aw.php?qucyb&ref=google.com&hdparm=twitter.com&u=http://work7home.net/esubmit/bizopp_main.php
these days I stay on top of my game you should really consider it
Dont forget to thank me!
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
This Kit changed all my life
I have always worked hard for what I wanted I learned to expect the
unexpected this caught my eye a few weeks ago.
http://www.fraza.com.ua/aw.php?wexyr&ref=msn.com&hdparm=yahoo.com&u=http://jobsweek.net/esubmit/bizopp_hw.php
now I dont feel something missing anymore I wouldnt waste your time
did you know there was internet money like this?
unexpected this caught my eye a few weeks ago.
http://www.fraza.com.ua/aw.php?wexyr&ref=msn.com&hdparm=yahoo.com&u=http://jobsweek.net/esubmit/bizopp_hw.php
now I dont feel something missing anymore I wouldnt waste your time
did you know there was internet money like this?
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
royal pains..
So today on my profile on myfitnesspal, I had to erase the part where it said that my reward would be a concert.. :( :( I already mentioned to everyone that I'd have a hard time working on my weight after the concert. But now... I mean I don't even get to go. I know I sound like a whiny little teenager, which I guess that's exactly what I am. But I really have been putting my all, all year, for this. I worked hard for the first concert, and I worked even harder for the second.
It's okay... it's okay, it's okay. I know that they'll reschedule and lucky for me, my mom and my sis are ready to go to that show. And so am I. I think it could be a birthday present depending on the new dates. So, even though I had to delete the statement, REWARD: CONCERT!!!!! in the long run, I suppose it's true. I mean at some point, we will get to go. And to be honest, I don't think I was ready anyway. I wasn't where I wanted to be for my weight, and everything was pretty chaotic! I think we'll be sad for the rest of the month, especially the day the concert would've happened, but I believe it's all meant to be.
12:12PM
It's okay... it's okay, it's okay. I know that they'll reschedule and lucky for me, my mom and my sis are ready to go to that show. And so am I. I think it could be a birthday present depending on the new dates. So, even though I had to delete the statement, REWARD: CONCERT!!!!! in the long run, I suppose it's true. I mean at some point, we will get to go. And to be honest, I don't think I was ready anyway. I wasn't where I wanted to be for my weight, and everything was pretty chaotic! I think we'll be sad for the rest of the month, especially the day the concert would've happened, but I believe it's all meant to be.
12:12PM
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Chaos
Right now at precisely 11:08AM with a cat tugging and clawing at my foot... my mind is feeling pretty chaotic.. Honestly when do I NOT feel chaotic? But now.. I just feel more chaotic than usual which is really saying a lot. Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on myself. Idk. I feel I have soo much to do and can't get it all done! And even when I do finish my tasks, I get no relief.
There's been some new developments since the last time I enetered a post. I'm going on another trip! (Sadly, the exclamation point feels exaggerated with the way I'm feeling right now.) This time to Colorado. Yup, you've guessed it. To another concert.. with the same band. :) Since the last trip was such a success, I should be pretty excited right?? Well somehow I'm not and that's eating and gnawing at me from the inside, and as we get closer to the departure date, the chewing is getting more noticeable.
Maybe it's because I'm having trouble with my weightloss. I mean, to summarize what happened this month of July, all I did was more exercise, plus I gained 5lbs. *sighs* I'm okay with that. Just because I lost 17.4lbs in June doesn't mean I slacked off this month. (even though I did in some ways) I've nearly lost 40lbs and I know who I lost it for. :) This band. :) Currently though, this band of mine is having problems.. and I just can't deal with that on top of everything else. I love them with all my ♥.. I'd do anything for them, I've even done the impossible. Lose weight. I thank God for them every day. They're in my blood, my soul, my life... There's nothing I want more than their happiness. Maybe what's going on with them is a little speed bump, I pray that that's all it is. If it's something bigger, which I think it is.. I shall be so depressed. There's no one I can talk about it to. That's because I'm a selfish, secretive ass who doesn't want anyone else to see their glory. I figure they're famous enough I guess.
My sister, who also loves them.. doesn't want me to tell her any bad news until after our trip in Aug/Sept. But will there be a trip? That's the horrible conflict and dilemma I'm rehearsing over and over in my mind. Maybe I'm just overreacting, but I doubt it. I've sat at this computer many times before and heard/read some of the worst news of my life.. Could this be another time? I survived it once before, kept in secrets, cried.. but will this be the dealbreaker? I mean, am I in for the worst news of all time? I sincerely hope not.. and not just for my sake.
So yesterday, I watched Julie and Julia (for the second time) and in some ways I feel a big connection to Julie. Now more than ever. I mean she had an idol to love.. so do I. Except she wasn't secretive about it.. XD She did amazing things for Julia, the way I feel I'm doing great things for this band. She said she feels that Julia is making her a better person, the way I feel this band heals me everyday. :)
Sometimes I want to escape, not for real or anything, I love my life. There's nothing I'd change for all the money in the world.. of course there's things I want or want to do, but realisticly, everything's where it should be. Sometimes I look out the window, and think about last year. Hopefully it's not too pathetic to live in the past but I was really my happiest then. I'm tearing at the thought. I've never experienced pure love like that, so unconditional. It healed me. Made me strong and confident, safe.
I honestly don't know where I'd escape to most of the time, but right now I'd escape into the studio with my favorite band. Just to watch them, in creative mode. Making perfect music. Asking for MY opinion because it mattered to them. Me, feeling smitten and nervous to be around them. Close to them. Hearing them crack dirty jokes, or drinking a beer, lighting a cigarette. Just relaxing.. And there I am, in the midst of it all. Knowing that nothing would ruin this moment. We're all here together, just having a really good time. And by the end of the day, maybe a couple of fights or bad moments later.. There's a product, a final product that could always be altered or changed, but they feel comfortable with what they've done, using my opinions of course. ;) There's music, beautiful music that I got to help create. ---In sepia tones is how I picture it. lol. Let's get back to reality, although that was a really nice "outer-body experience" I just had. lol.
Ahh another new development was that we got another cat.. The one who was clawing at my foot earlier. He's such a sweetie. ♥
There's been some new developments since the last time I enetered a post. I'm going on another trip! (Sadly, the exclamation point feels exaggerated with the way I'm feeling right now.) This time to Colorado. Yup, you've guessed it. To another concert.. with the same band. :) Since the last trip was such a success, I should be pretty excited right?? Well somehow I'm not and that's eating and gnawing at me from the inside, and as we get closer to the departure date, the chewing is getting more noticeable.
Maybe it's because I'm having trouble with my weightloss. I mean, to summarize what happened this month of July, all I did was more exercise, plus I gained 5lbs. *sighs* I'm okay with that. Just because I lost 17.4lbs in June doesn't mean I slacked off this month. (even though I did in some ways) I've nearly lost 40lbs and I know who I lost it for. :) This band. :) Currently though, this band of mine is having problems.. and I just can't deal with that on top of everything else. I love them with all my ♥.. I'd do anything for them, I've even done the impossible. Lose weight. I thank God for them every day. They're in my blood, my soul, my life... There's nothing I want more than their happiness. Maybe what's going on with them is a little speed bump, I pray that that's all it is. If it's something bigger, which I think it is.. I shall be so depressed. There's no one I can talk about it to. That's because I'm a selfish, secretive ass who doesn't want anyone else to see their glory. I figure they're famous enough I guess.
My sister, who also loves them.. doesn't want me to tell her any bad news until after our trip in Aug/Sept. But will there be a trip? That's the horrible conflict and dilemma I'm rehearsing over and over in my mind. Maybe I'm just overreacting, but I doubt it. I've sat at this computer many times before and heard/read some of the worst news of my life.. Could this be another time? I survived it once before, kept in secrets, cried.. but will this be the dealbreaker? I mean, am I in for the worst news of all time? I sincerely hope not.. and not just for my sake.
So yesterday, I watched Julie and Julia (for the second time) and in some ways I feel a big connection to Julie. Now more than ever. I mean she had an idol to love.. so do I. Except she wasn't secretive about it.. XD She did amazing things for Julia, the way I feel I'm doing great things for this band. She said she feels that Julia is making her a better person, the way I feel this band heals me everyday. :)
Sometimes I want to escape, not for real or anything, I love my life. There's nothing I'd change for all the money in the world.. of course there's things I want or want to do, but realisticly, everything's where it should be. Sometimes I look out the window, and think about last year. Hopefully it's not too pathetic to live in the past but I was really my happiest then. I'm tearing at the thought. I've never experienced pure love like that, so unconditional. It healed me. Made me strong and confident, safe.
I honestly don't know where I'd escape to most of the time, but right now I'd escape into the studio with my favorite band. Just to watch them, in creative mode. Making perfect music. Asking for MY opinion because it mattered to them. Me, feeling smitten and nervous to be around them. Close to them. Hearing them crack dirty jokes, or drinking a beer, lighting a cigarette. Just relaxing.. And there I am, in the midst of it all. Knowing that nothing would ruin this moment. We're all here together, just having a really good time. And by the end of the day, maybe a couple of fights or bad moments later.. There's a product, a final product that could always be altered or changed, but they feel comfortable with what they've done, using my opinions of course. ;) There's music, beautiful music that I got to help create. ---In sepia tones is how I picture it. lol. Let's get back to reality, although that was a really nice "outer-body experience" I just had. lol.
Ahh another new development was that we got another cat.. The one who was clawing at my foot earlier. He's such a sweetie. ♥
I do feel a little bit better sinced I've released a little tension with these words. There's other things that've happened but I guess I'm not in the mood. 11:41AM
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Meditation
I haven't written in my blog in forever! I still have to update some tidbits from my Texas trip.
Anyway, my horoscope mentioned that today (May 17) I should meditate. Now, it just so happens that recently I read in a book (James Van Praagh's Looking Beyond) about meditating. The way he explained it was that mediatating was really quiet time for yourself, where you feel safe and all bad thoughts and energies disappear from your body. And you're instead, filled with peace and calm. Now if that's what meditating really is then I was meditating the entire Spring and Summer of 2010. And let me just say it was one of the best times in my life.
What I would do was sit in front of my window and listen to music that I loved. My favorite band.. :D whom I love!!!!!!!! I would sit there and feel absolutely safe and serene. It made me excited to hear that that was a form of meditating. I now have awesome memories of looking at beautiful sunsets from last year.
So today I sat and opened the patio door and felt the breeze. I put on some nice relaxing music and closed my eyes and felt the peace take over me. I imagined my self breathing in gold and breathing out gray mist. As if I was taking in all the good and letting out the bad. I would think empowering thoughts to myself. When I was "golden," I would think about things, ask questions to myself. I looked at all the nature. Felt the breeze. And I was at peace. I watched the sunset.. My favorite memories were some of those from last year's "meditating sessions." I hope to meditate more in the future.
Summary: Mediating is awesome and you can personalize it!
Recommendation: James Van Praagh's Looking Beyond. (The book for teens, it's easy reading!) I read it in one night. My mom had borrowed it from the library.
音楽
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Erb's Palsy & Me
So I keep mentioning that I have Erb's Palsy. So since it's something I've had since birth, I guess you could say I'm used to it. I can't imagine how hard it must be for people to obtain an injury later in life.
Anyway what this means for me is not having to the ability to move my left arm much. Making exercising completely personalized. In school, people claim to never notice a problem with my arm until I had explained it to them. It also meant me having to sit out on certain things during PE.. which wasn't always such a bad thing. Sometimes I get infuriated at it because I can't do things that everybody else can. Simple stuff! Like reaching. I've cried. It's awful having something you can't change.
I have had it operated on, which did do some improvement. But I know I'll never be quite right. One time, I must've been down about the whole thing. We were talking about jobs. And my mom said something like "well, we know you'll never be a pilot." That made me so sad. Not that I want to be a pilot, but having doors of oportunities close because of something like this was heartbreaking to hear. You know? I don't want anything to prevent me from anything. I wanna know that I can do anything, even if I didn't want to in the first place. Must be my Capricorn side coming out. (by the way, I love Astrology)
So the effect this had on me was a lawsuit, which we won.. but there's nothing that can replace having normal ability on your arm. One thing that hurts the most is knowing I can't play guitar. I watch people play.. I'm amazed.. but I know I can't do it. Even if I was taught by the best instructor.. knew every trick, every note. I still couldn't do it. :( And with my love of music.. it's pretty heartwrenching.
So I live my life everyday with this disability not knowing the difference since it was from birth. This is something not many people know about. I want to educate people about this disability. I want people to know that there is "life after injury," even if it brings me down sometimes. It makes me who I am, and I have no choice but to go with it.
Anyway what this means for me is not having to the ability to move my left arm much. Making exercising completely personalized. In school, people claim to never notice a problem with my arm until I had explained it to them. It also meant me having to sit out on certain things during PE.. which wasn't always such a bad thing. Sometimes I get infuriated at it because I can't do things that everybody else can. Simple stuff! Like reaching. I've cried. It's awful having something you can't change.
I have had it operated on, which did do some improvement. But I know I'll never be quite right. One time, I must've been down about the whole thing. We were talking about jobs. And my mom said something like "well, we know you'll never be a pilot." That made me so sad. Not that I want to be a pilot, but having doors of oportunities close because of something like this was heartbreaking to hear. You know? I don't want anything to prevent me from anything. I wanna know that I can do anything, even if I didn't want to in the first place. Must be my Capricorn side coming out. (by the way, I love Astrology)
So the effect this had on me was a lawsuit, which we won.. but there's nothing that can replace having normal ability on your arm. One thing that hurts the most is knowing I can't play guitar. I watch people play.. I'm amazed.. but I know I can't do it. Even if I was taught by the best instructor.. knew every trick, every note. I still couldn't do it. :( And with my love of music.. it's pretty heartwrenching.
So I live my life everyday with this disability not knowing the difference since it was from birth. This is something not many people know about. I want to educate people about this disability. I want people to know that there is "life after injury," even if it brings me down sometimes. It makes me who I am, and I have no choice but to go with it.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Texas: April 8, 2011
So officially, my Trip to Texas doesn't begin until the 10th... Maybe even the 9th, since tomorrow we pick up the rental. So technically today is my last day before the trip begins.
Planned itinerary:
-The Alamo
-Ripley's Believe It Or Not Haunted Adventure
-Concert to see my favorite band.
-River Boat Tour
-Guiness World Records Museum
-The beach
I'm feeling really excited! It's bound to be at least a 12 hour drive from Albuquerque, but it's gonna be such a memorable trip! :D
Planned itinerary:
-The Alamo
-Ripley's Believe It Or Not Haunted Adventure
-Concert to see my favorite band.
-River Boat Tour
-Guiness World Records Museum
-The beach
I'm feeling really excited! It's bound to be at least a 12 hour drive from Albuquerque, but it's gonna be such a memorable trip! :D
January 16, 2010 ♥
Now this is a very important day, well actually night for me. :) It was the night, well early morning that I found my favorite band. (I hope this isn't sounding too immature for you guys)
It was maybe around 1AM. There I was getting ready for bed, watching TV, when I skip through the channels. Then all of a sudden (1:30AM) I see their music video on TV. I was stunned to say the least. I fell in love right away. The music, the band members, their vibe. :D AMAZING! I wrote down the song name and the band name on a piece of paper. I remember loving the song and yet, I couldn't remember how it went. Imagine that! You love something so much, but you can't remember how it goes! It took off from there!
I searched them right away! Watched that video maybe 20 times. Found their names, and then I found out their story. They had me so interested and so hooked from the very beginning! Not 100% of their story is all good though, but somehow that made me love them more! Then I found other songs, one by one. Found out that they sounded wayyy different in the beginning of their career and yet, I found it all amazing! Then there I was, buying their CD's, (something I never did before) and buying posters (something I also never did before.) And on April 8, 2011(yesterday) I got my first t-shirt. And in 3 days, I go to my first concert!
Around the time I found them, I was in need of something like this. They made me feel so safe, so proud, sooo HAPPY! I remember specific memories with certain songs. I watched sunsets, moons, wind with trees blowin'. They take me to another place everytime I listen to them. I even remember a time when I thought it to be stupid when people said that they had a favorite band. But I was sooo wrong! I've latched on and fell in love. ♥
I guess you could say I became obsessed. My sister also fell in love. We listen to them together. Anyway it just became this thing. They're my favorite band and I LOVE THEM! And now, I'm about to see them for the first time on April 12, 2011 ♥♥♥♥
There's more to this story and I'll update later. :)
It was maybe around 1AM. There I was getting ready for bed, watching TV, when I skip through the channels. Then all of a sudden (1:30AM) I see their music video on TV. I was stunned to say the least. I fell in love right away. The music, the band members, their vibe. :D AMAZING! I wrote down the song name and the band name on a piece of paper. I remember loving the song and yet, I couldn't remember how it went. Imagine that! You love something so much, but you can't remember how it goes! It took off from there!
I searched them right away! Watched that video maybe 20 times. Found their names, and then I found out their story. They had me so interested and so hooked from the very beginning! Not 100% of their story is all good though, but somehow that made me love them more! Then I found other songs, one by one. Found out that they sounded wayyy different in the beginning of their career and yet, I found it all amazing! Then there I was, buying their CD's, (something I never did before) and buying posters (something I also never did before.) And on April 8, 2011(yesterday) I got my first t-shirt. And in 3 days, I go to my first concert!
Around the time I found them, I was in need of something like this. They made me feel so safe, so proud, sooo HAPPY! I remember specific memories with certain songs. I watched sunsets, moons, wind with trees blowin'. They take me to another place everytime I listen to them. I even remember a time when I thought it to be stupid when people said that they had a favorite band. But I was sooo wrong! I've latched on and fell in love. ♥
I guess you could say I became obsessed. My sister also fell in love. We listen to them together. Anyway it just became this thing. They're my favorite band and I LOVE THEM! And now, I'm about to see them for the first time on April 12, 2011 ♥♥♥♥
There's more to this story and I'll update later. :)
About Me
I was born on January 4. So that makes me a proud Capricorn. :) I was born in Fairfield, California. I moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico back in Oct. 2005. I've made many friends here but the most important discovery I've made here in NM is my favorite band. You'll probably hear me yappin' about them quite a lot since I love them so damn much! ♥
Anyway, while we were on the subject of me. I have to also mention that I have Erb's palsy. A birth defect in my left arm. So I guess you could say I'm different from other people. It makes me unique. I also am overweight and have been most of my life. 2011 is the first year though, where I have made an exceptional difference in trying to make a change in my body. So far (4-8-11) I have lost 19lbs! I began the weightloss in late January. I signed up to this amazing website, myfitnesspal.
I have 3 sisters. So out of 4, I am number 3. My younger sister, who was born the same year as I, (hard to believe ain't it?) is my best friend. And although I don't tell her everything as you would a best friend to tell each other, she is the closest thing I have to being my best friend. :) Kinda sad right?
I would consider myself to being very funny! I love to laugh and make jokes. ...And yes, I am the type of person who texts LOL waayyyy more than I should. :P
I love music and my whole life (right now) currently revolves around music.
I would also consider myself as being very secretive. I secretly wanna act or maybe even sing! I just love it. I also love Astrology.
I USED to be considered a full-blown schoolgirl. Got the good grades, well behaved.. the whole enchilada. The reason I say USED is because last year, well actually 2 years ago (November 09') I was about to be tested for cancer, so I guess I figured I could miss as much school as I wanted. (Another little tidbit about me, I always miss a lot of school, I just have been really good at making up the work.) By January of 2010, I just simply never returned. The school had me in for counseling but on January 16, I found a TRUE LOVE. So school honestly went out the window. I'm still what I would consider above average, compared to today's kids.
The reason why I don't have much to day about my life before 2010, is because I feel like I didn't have an identity until I found this amazing band! Everything has changed for me since then! I have soo many great memories that have been created because of them! And so many more are about to be created! I mean, even next week, I'm going to go see this special band of mine for the first time! April 12 = ♥♥♥♥
My favorite time of day is night. Now this is something I've preferred all my life, but since I've found this band, my love for night has expanded. "hint, hint" One more I gotta add to this, is that I'm very secret with this band. And I'm that way for everybody. I don't really want anyone to know. This band is amazing I can assure you. :)
If anyone can guess the right band, I'll be sure to let them know. :)
Anyway, while we were on the subject of me. I have to also mention that I have Erb's palsy. A birth defect in my left arm. So I guess you could say I'm different from other people. It makes me unique. I also am overweight and have been most of my life. 2011 is the first year though, where I have made an exceptional difference in trying to make a change in my body. So far (4-8-11) I have lost 19lbs! I began the weightloss in late January. I signed up to this amazing website, myfitnesspal.
I have 3 sisters. So out of 4, I am number 3. My younger sister, who was born the same year as I, (hard to believe ain't it?) is my best friend. And although I don't tell her everything as you would a best friend to tell each other, she is the closest thing I have to being my best friend. :) Kinda sad right?
I would consider myself to being very funny! I love to laugh and make jokes. ...And yes, I am the type of person who texts LOL waayyyy more than I should. :P
I love music and my whole life (right now) currently revolves around music.
I would also consider myself as being very secretive. I secretly wanna act or maybe even sing! I just love it. I also love Astrology.
I USED to be considered a full-blown schoolgirl. Got the good grades, well behaved.. the whole enchilada. The reason I say USED is because last year, well actually 2 years ago (November 09') I was about to be tested for cancer, so I guess I figured I could miss as much school as I wanted. (Another little tidbit about me, I always miss a lot of school, I just have been really good at making up the work.) By January of 2010, I just simply never returned. The school had me in for counseling but on January 16, I found a TRUE LOVE. So school honestly went out the window. I'm still what I would consider above average, compared to today's kids.
The reason why I don't have much to day about my life before 2010, is because I feel like I didn't have an identity until I found this amazing band! Everything has changed for me since then! I have soo many great memories that have been created because of them! And so many more are about to be created! I mean, even next week, I'm going to go see this special band of mine for the first time! April 12 = ♥♥♥♥
My favorite time of day is night. Now this is something I've preferred all my life, but since I've found this band, my love for night has expanded. "hint, hint" One more I gotta add to this, is that I'm very secret with this band. And I'm that way for everybody. I don't really want anyone to know. This band is amazing I can assure you. :)
If anyone can guess the right band, I'll be sure to let them know. :)
My Inspiration (For My Weightloss)
So when they say that when you DON'T make any "New Year's Resolution's," that it'll actually happen? Well whoever said that is a genius! For the first time (in a long time) I didn't make any resolutions at the beginning of the year.
I've always made resolutions since I've been overweight, saying that this'll be the year where I'll lose the weight. And of course, it never happened. This year I didn't care what happened. I've been truly happy since January of 2010. I found a love like no other. A happiness I've never felt. And I used this love for my own selfish needs. The need to be happy and feel safe. Last January, I wasn't going to school so I was getting in trouble for that. They called me in for counseling every Thursday and I realized I do have some issues.
People make fun of shrinks and counseling but boy do I recommend it for EVERYONE! Anyway, when I would come home from these "sessions" I would be so happy, relieved, and to top it off, I had my "love."
So I'm gonna tell you what this "love" I keep on referring to is.. It's music. I found a band (I know how immature this must sound) who is unlike any other. I latched on like a barnacle to say the least. I've fallen into such a "trance" with them. They've made me so happy, and they came to me when I needed them most. 2010 is filled with memories made by them. Last year was (so far) the best of my life.
I used to think that it was stupid when people would say that they had a favorite band. I've always loved music, and all kinds at that. But when it happened to me.. it was the start of a revolution. :)
2010 completely revolved around me and this band. This music, and this LOVE. I became a new person. I was always viewed as the "smart one." I always did great in school, I was always advanced. Always the nice one. I still am. I will always be proud that I'm smart. But I ALWAYS wanted to be known for more than just that. I wanted a TRUE identity. I believe with all my heart that this band, my DNA, my passion and inspiration, has given me an identity. A drive to be a better person.
Soo.. now that I KNOW that I love this band, and that they will always be 'mine,' 2011 became more than just that. Yes, 2010 was more of a year of discovery, of information. And I believe 2011 is year where I'll use my new "me" and put it to better use.
So late January, (2011) I began my weightloss. My sister was going to the gym and I tagged along, joined MFP, and began to see some change! So far (4-8-11) I have lost 19lbs!! We're taking at least 2 trips this year.. I'm going to see my favorite band live in just 4 days!! I believe this trip only evolved because of what happened last year. (Me finding this band.) Literally it's true.
But I believe more is to come! But with all my soul, I will forever believe that this all started with me finding this band. I'll lose for them even if I don't lose it for myself. I'll lose it for my future. Even if I'll lose 100lbs (total) it all began with the night of January 16, the night where I found this lovely band. It all began with 2011 and even MFP. I thank everybody, even myself, for giving me the courage to be me and to take a step forward in losing weight! My first step..
I take moments to stop and smell the roses.. enjoy the music.. and my life. To have faith in myself and to believe that I can achieve ANYTHING I set my mind to! I want to remember all of this! My whole wieghtloss journey. I want a story to tell! And if I do ever meet this band, I wanna be able to tell them what I've done for them. What I've acomplished. How much I love them and that they truly are an inspiration to me! I can TOTALLY ADMIT THAT I WAS WRONG by saying it's impossible to have a favorite band.
I remember a time when I would cry and pray for a miracle. To one day wake up be the "perfect weight." I know people say be happy with what you are.. but that's not enough for me. I want more! Call me selfish, but I wanna be HOT someday! lol. SO, I WILL lose this weight, and I WILL accomplish my goals, and I WILL be anything and do ANYTHING that I want. :)
My Inspirations --
1. THIS BAND/MUSIC
2. MY FUTURE/HEALTH
3. MY FAMILY
4. THAT ONE KID BACK IN 5TH GRADE WHO WHISPERED I WAS FAT
---So this was just a summary of where my inspiration comes from---
P.S. I hope EVERYONE finds the same kind of happiness that I have. To love something and all their flaws! To find them 100% beautiful in every way! To be YOUR inspiration! Sometimes.. love just finds you, whether you were prepared or not.
I've always made resolutions since I've been overweight, saying that this'll be the year where I'll lose the weight. And of course, it never happened. This year I didn't care what happened. I've been truly happy since January of 2010. I found a love like no other. A happiness I've never felt. And I used this love for my own selfish needs. The need to be happy and feel safe. Last January, I wasn't going to school so I was getting in trouble for that. They called me in for counseling every Thursday and I realized I do have some issues.
People make fun of shrinks and counseling but boy do I recommend it for EVERYONE! Anyway, when I would come home from these "sessions" I would be so happy, relieved, and to top it off, I had my "love."
So I'm gonna tell you what this "love" I keep on referring to is.. It's music. I found a band (I know how immature this must sound) who is unlike any other. I latched on like a barnacle to say the least. I've fallen into such a "trance" with them. They've made me so happy, and they came to me when I needed them most. 2010 is filled with memories made by them. Last year was (so far) the best of my life.
I used to think that it was stupid when people would say that they had a favorite band. I've always loved music, and all kinds at that. But when it happened to me.. it was the start of a revolution. :)
2010 completely revolved around me and this band. This music, and this LOVE. I became a new person. I was always viewed as the "smart one." I always did great in school, I was always advanced. Always the nice one. I still am. I will always be proud that I'm smart. But I ALWAYS wanted to be known for more than just that. I wanted a TRUE identity. I believe with all my heart that this band, my DNA, my passion and inspiration, has given me an identity. A drive to be a better person.
Soo.. now that I KNOW that I love this band, and that they will always be 'mine,' 2011 became more than just that. Yes, 2010 was more of a year of discovery, of information. And I believe 2011 is year where I'll use my new "me" and put it to better use.
So late January, (2011) I began my weightloss. My sister was going to the gym and I tagged along, joined MFP, and began to see some change! So far (4-8-11) I have lost 19lbs!! We're taking at least 2 trips this year.. I'm going to see my favorite band live in just 4 days!! I believe this trip only evolved because of what happened last year. (Me finding this band.) Literally it's true.
But I believe more is to come! But with all my soul, I will forever believe that this all started with me finding this band. I'll lose for them even if I don't lose it for myself. I'll lose it for my future. Even if I'll lose 100lbs (total) it all began with the night of January 16, the night where I found this lovely band. It all began with 2011 and even MFP. I thank everybody, even myself, for giving me the courage to be me and to take a step forward in losing weight! My first step..
I take moments to stop and smell the roses.. enjoy the music.. and my life. To have faith in myself and to believe that I can achieve ANYTHING I set my mind to! I want to remember all of this! My whole wieghtloss journey. I want a story to tell! And if I do ever meet this band, I wanna be able to tell them what I've done for them. What I've acomplished. How much I love them and that they truly are an inspiration to me! I can TOTALLY ADMIT THAT I WAS WRONG by saying it's impossible to have a favorite band.
I remember a time when I would cry and pray for a miracle. To one day wake up be the "perfect weight." I know people say be happy with what you are.. but that's not enough for me. I want more! Call me selfish, but I wanna be HOT someday! lol. SO, I WILL lose this weight, and I WILL accomplish my goals, and I WILL be anything and do ANYTHING that I want. :)
My Inspirations --
1. THIS BAND/MUSIC
2. MY FUTURE/HEALTH
3. MY FAMILY
4. THAT ONE KID BACK IN 5TH GRADE WHO WHISPERED I WAS FAT
---So this was just a summary of where my inspiration comes from---
P.S. I hope EVERYONE finds the same kind of happiness that I have. To love something and all their flaws! To find them 100% beautiful in every way! To be YOUR inspiration! Sometimes.. love just finds you, whether you were prepared or not.
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